My life is so complex. And I'm feeling it right now.
The desire to eat intuitively.
The desire to binge and not feel.
It just feels so overwhelming. I don't want to treat IE like another diet. But in many ways it feels like just that. I have to find a way to see beyond that.
The overeating/binging is not good. It almost always occurs at night. It leaves me so uncomfortable that sleep is a mess. I toss and turn all night. Dreaming weird dreams. Waking off and on. Feeling physically awful in the morning. Taking Tylenol to soothe the "withdrawl".
It's not good.
I want (and need) to drop the diet mentality. That's what I need to let go of.
Because until I see IE as living and not dieting, I will forever be searching for the next binge.
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