Huh

The last two days or so, I've been eating really well. Finding hunger and eating within it, looking for what I really want to eat, and also working to find fullness. Finding fullness has been the hardest. It seems I don't have much of a "shut-off" valve. Lol! What I've been doing is taking very small portions on a very small plate. Eating that slowly, and seeing if I can find fullness. I've actually enjoyed my tiny plate and I've found that my body DOES know exactly what it wants to eat! There are times I crave sweets, and times I crave a salad. Funny!

Last night I wanted a couple of Cheetos. My daughter had them by her and was jokingly not letting me have them. Guess what? That's a trigger for me! :) I found myself instead getting nachos and cheese. It did satisfy me. But then I wanted something sweet. A bite of chocolate would have done it, but I didn't have any in the house.

I reached for oreos. I took 2, then 2 more. It was interesting because as I was doing that, I was analyzing it without judgement of any sort. "Hmm...seems like this is just habit more than anything. I'm definitely not wanting this, but notice how I automatically reach for more." I didn't judge at all. I ate them, all the while noticing that my body was saying, "no! no! I don't want that!". Lol! After I sat and thought about it. How I much more enjoyed eating when I was hungry. How absolutely freeing it was to never diet and to eat just what I wanted when hungry. How wonderful it felt to eat off my tiny plate and how much I loved eating what my body told me.

I'm in a good place.

This really is a good place.

I don't eat within hunger all the time, but right now I'm just striving to find it 90% of the time. I figure even people who eat normally don't eat within hunger all the time. So I'm cutting myself some slack. Loving my body and loving this way of approaching life. :) I've decided to buy myself a pretty. little, tiny plate. One that is just for me.

I can't wait!