A Thought

So last night I had the strangest thought. For anyone who doesn't struggle with overeating, this might seem like a "duh", but for me, it was honestly something of an epiphany.

Most of my adult life has been spent either on a diet, or overeating. Since going off WW last week, I've been massively overeating. Heck, I was overeating while I was still on the diet as I was definitely rebelling. Last night, after a night of eating and eating and eating, I had a thought.

I've always only seen two choices in my eating.

Overeat.

Diet.

The end.

But.....

What if there was a third option?? What if instead of either dieting or overeating, I just ate when hungry and stopped focusing on food? What if I stayed the weight I am forever, and just lived my life? What if I no longer lived for eating or dieting, but instead just LIVED????

What would that look like??

And I thought about it. And thought about it.

And for the first time EVER, I felt a huge release inside my heart. A release to live, to find joy in LIFE instead of food, and to just let go of all of it. It was the most freeing thought ever.

My girls are all without hang-ups about their weight. I raised them not to base anything on their weight. Ironic, huh? ;) But they all have an ongoing joke. When someone (anyone) is razzing them, they'll jokingly say, "are you calling me fat?". It has absolutely nothing to do with weight or ever their perceptions of themselves. They do it because they're all super self confident.

This morning, the morning after my epiphany, I was standing in front of the mirror, doing my mirror work and started thinking of something totally unrelated that stressed me out. My first thought was that my thighs were too big. Catching myself, I jokingly said, "are you calling me fat?" to my reflection.

And I laughed. :) Because it truly was ridiculous. And it made me happy to be able to laugh again.