Why

I'm struggling to understand why I have so much pent up rage here. This morning as I sat and thought, I know that I eat at night to rebel against my hubby. Why? I don't know. Because it certainly doesn't hurt him, it only hurts me.

I think tonight I will work to sit with my feelings. To care for the why instead of automatically eating to rebel.
Because I'm very doubtful that this is truly about food in the end. I think it's a lot more than that. I have to start separating myself and start seeing that caring for me is actually for me. I think I have huge issues with boundaries.Not being able to appropriately tell people what I want and need. Instead using food as a "take that" sort of approach. Thankfully I can see with my own eyes that this approach is really not working and never really has since I still am battling it all these years later. I tell my kids all the time, "use your words".

Maybe I should take my own advice. Hell, it can't be any worse than this right? ;)

Interesting.